The Importance of Saying "No"

It's hard to say no. When your boss asks you to take on that extra project, or when your kids ask you to take them to the mall. Maybe you've been asked to help out with your churches bake sale or the book club fundraiser. Whatever it is, we all like to help, and we want to please others, but sometimes we just need to say no.

Most of us have learned that to say no to something is tantamount to committing a cardinal sin. It's just not something that is done. But sometimes, by saying yes to everything, we find ourselves in the bind of too much to do and not enough time. This causes undue stress, arguments, misunderstandings, missed deadlines and frustration. It's important to learn that it's OK to say no sometimes. How and when should you say no?

First, the how: Don't be shy and beat around the bush. If you have to refuse something, just say so. Simply state that as much as you would like to help out, it's simply impossible because you're booked up. Offer an alternative if you have one. Maybe you could let your boss know that you are not able to take on the additional project right now, but if the deadline can be set back a few days you will be in better shape to handle it effectively and produce a better outcome. Let your kids know that as much as you love them, you can't always take them everywhere at the last minute, but you'd be happy to take them to the mall next Tuesday. Offer to bring brownies for the church bake sale, instead of heading up the decorating committee.
Second, the when: This is where your calendar comes in handy, and hopefully you keep one that is up to date close by at all times. Definitely say no when you're already maxed out for time. But also, when you are approaching being maxed out, you need to really be careful about what extras you add to your "to do" list. If you are feeling stressed out, you may need to say no until you get back to a more balanced spot in your life.

Saying no isn't necessarily a bad thing. It can keep you freed up to work on the things that are priorities in your life, whether those things are family or work related. Learning to say no might be difficult, but in the long run, it is of great benefit.

Posted:Friday, September 28, 2007